I am irked, perturbed, aggravated and twitchy. I have been listening to motivational podcasts and books on tape. You see, I am still searching for the elusive sukha. I am a seeker. Therefore I do my research. But at this particular moment I want to SCREAM! Surely I am not the only one with this reaction.
Listen ladies, I feel compelled to say this: (looks left and then right and whispers in a conspiratorial voice) You do NOT need to be in a ketogenic state whilst killing it in the corporate word AND slaying marathons on the weekends in between laser treatments and play dates. I am sick of all the self help improvement tag lines of “ Find your passion! Wash your face! Be a badass!” How exhausting and formidable…
Enough is Enough!
Here’s a crazy idea…
How about if you just learn to love that flawed, original, ordinary life you got going on over there? Honestly, isn’t it the broken bits and imperfections that make us lovable? How boring this world would be if we were all perfect Barbie Dolls. Ugh. Stepford Wives anyone?
Enough already.
I am ordinary. I possess no extreme talent nor gift. In a room full of 100 people, I would fall in the height of the bell curve of average. I am not wealthy by any means, I will NEVER run a marathon, solve world hunger, or write soulful poetry. I am clinically obese. But does this mean I do not deserve happiness? HELL NO!
Happiness to me is being able to say I AM enough, I DO enough, I HAVE enough.
Any mother who survives a day with her sanity intact is slaying life. There are mothers way more creative than I, but I raised seven children in a very blended family and cared for a few more children who found their way through my side door and into my heart. That took gusto and grit. None have yet to find the path to college, but they are all good, compassionate people.
And my definition of being a badass is to be kind to everyone ( I repeat EVERY one). I strive to find a way to be kind to myself as well.
I swear I am not sucking sour grapes – Kudos to you who can climb the corporate ladder, run 5 miles before breakfast and stick to a keto diet. I will be your biggest cheerleader and fan girl. – if you are doing these things out of love for yourself. You go! In fact, teach me your ways.
My corporate ladder is as tall as my front porch steps. I consider my little work-from-home company successful if it pays the bills and my clients are truly happy with my service. Those 2 metrics alone are what I use to define its success. And I don’t feel the need for it to be anything more.
I simply have no desire to be the CEO of anything but my life.
Letting go of other people’s concept of what the American dream looks like was the kindest thing I have done for myself.
You see, I AM enough. You are enough, too.
My simple goal everyday is to keep progressing and growing. Have I learned something? Did I make someone smile? Did I take care of myself today? Did I cross a few items off the weekly “to do” list? ( I am passionate about clean countertops and I can Marie Kondo the shit out of some laundry) Did I take care and pay attention to my life today?
I did! Look at me go! Then I DID enough.
Do I HAVE enough? This is a tricky one. I could write pages on this topic, and probably will on future rants. Even without cable, media bombards me every moment I am awake, feeding my drunk monkey with the idea that I need shiplap on my wall, reusable straws, $40 dollar concealer (I may have fell for that one), bras that make my tits perky and a car that will make me look cool.
Take a day and pay attention to all the ways “they” say our lives are lacking. (Happiness life hack numero uno – quit caring what “they” think – this is your life)
All the while, the self-help gurus tell us to be grateful. There are even gratefulness apps and journals we can purchase. Consumerism at it’s most ironic finest. As self-help author Melody Beattie puts it: “Gratitude turns what we have into enough.” Brilliant! Being grateful is showing appreciation for what one has, not what one wants. This is in direct contradiction to what those evil snake oil marketers tell us. We have been programmed to be consumers, always wanting, always needing the next new thing. More, more. more!
But if you or I are truly grateful for what we have, then we simply HAVE enough. Do you have a roof over your head, clothes on your back and food in your belly? Some scientific studies have shown that once these basic needs are met, additional belongings do not contribute to our level of happiness.
Personally, I tend to follow the Minimalists adage of “love people and use things.” But as I have stated, my income is limited and my level of consumerism is predetermined for me. Being a minimalist fits my budget. You do you.
But when I take a moment to be grateful I can honestly state – I HAVE enough.
Please don’t get my desire to be considered “enough” confused with complacency. I make an effort EVERY day. Just because I don’t possess a PASSION doesn’t mean I don’t desire progress. After all, this blog is about the search for a life of contentment. I am actively looking. I am not asking life to just hand me happiness on a plate. I set expectations for myself. But they are MY expectations, not defined by others.
I just know that in order for me to be happy, I have to be able to say “enough IS enough.” There does not always have to be more to life for it to be enough.
Enough IS enough.
I don’t think there are enough voices out there telling you this: I LOVE YOU. Just the way you are .
– Di
Further Readings
https://garyhaq.wordpress.com/2009/08/20/enoughism-the-route-to-happiness/piness/
Finding Happiness in an Ordinary Life 
I ate this right up. Absolutely needed it today. Thank you!