Moodling. Say it. Moo-dling. A long cow song followed by a chirpy ring tone. I love words. I collect them. More often than not, I forget them. But when I get the chance to pick up a new one I toss it around and play with it a bit before placing it haphazardly in the dusty corners of my mind.
This particular word is a gift from my beloved Brenda Ueland. What? You do not know of her? She is this bomb ass writer/journalist chick that lived in Minnesota about 100 years ago. She dated anarchists, married writers and took many lovers. She spoke of feminism and animal rights decades before they were movements or cool. She wore pants when it was unacceptable, and swam in the Great Lakes well into her 80’s. There are few people I consider more amazeballs. She wrote one of my favorite books: If You Want to Write: a Book about Art, Independence and Spirit. I consider this book a friend.
(Yes, I have imaginary monkeys inhabiting my brain and inanimate objects as friends. When I put these truths on paper I begin to understand the raised eyebrow that Brock gives me on a daily basis. (And a shout out to my human friends and daughters who don’t bat an eye)
Okay back to IYWTW – like many of my friends, we have not spent much time together lately due to work and family commitments. The past few days I have been lethargic and rather down on myself for neglecting this blog. But IYWTW’s chewed-up spine caught my eye while drying off after my shower yesterday morning and I brought her along for company at my doctor’s appointment and then took her to lunch. Every time we visit, she gives me a joy – sometimes something new, often just a renewed zest for life.
Yesterday, Brenda gave me “moodling.” You see, I struggle with boredom. It is a state I am surely not comfortable with. My tendency towards perfectionism does not allow for idleness. Being inert is just being lazy and is shall I dare say it — sinful? But leave it to Ms. Ueland- she changed my perspective. Again.
“The imagination needs moodling – long, inefficient happy idling, dawdling and puttering.” (p.32)
So I challenged myself to enjoy boredom. Do you know what I have accomplished today? Nothing. No thing. I have managed to feed myself, play with the kittens, stretch, and sit. Just sit. First on my bed and then on my yoga mat and now at my desk. I have picked at my toenails, counted the rows of ridges on said yoga mat and fallen in love with Stella all over again by gazing in her sweet little face and smelling her neck. (Stella is a fair-haired runt of a kitten who has reduced my heart to melted butter.) I moodled without dozing. I resisted the urges to clean or check Facebook or make a list or count a calorie or..
As I confronted the hours of doing nothing, I observed the feelings of unease and listened for the voice of drunk monkey. He is so damn full of himself with his “you MUST check off something on your to do list.”, you HAVE TO spend an hour on Rosetta Stone today.” “You SHOULD be doing something.” Do this. Do that. Do, do DO!I am proud of myself. As of 1:12 PM I had accomplished nothing and I survived. I moodled. It was a happy state of doing nothing. And in the process of doing nothing, ideas for posts appeared, I forgave a person I have been angry with, I hummed and sang made-up songs to a kitten. I played.
For me, part of loving this life is slowing down, pressing the pause button and making space in the day for nothing. Our days are so often packed from lights on to lights out. Taking an hour (or five) to moodle is healthy for the spirit.
Namaste
- Di
Finding Happiness in an Ordinary Life 